somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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