so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
