so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
