I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How's work?
Spinning.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
