i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
