yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
