I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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