if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
