that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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