Who wears a wallet chain?!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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