if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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