If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
