I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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