fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
