have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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