I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Jerry, you need to find god
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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