all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
