I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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