Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
im holly from the hills drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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