I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hippo gnu deer
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
