There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
