Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
