the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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