I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
