if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
