im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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