So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
