He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
