I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
