So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
