nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
