Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
