People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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