Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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