life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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