did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Someone came in the potted fern
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
