there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
