doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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