jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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