that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
