i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
