I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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