that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
