I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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