I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
