i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
