Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize