Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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