Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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