The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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