just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry about my life...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
