someone threw a dead crab at me
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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