So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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