i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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