How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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