the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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