Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
