Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
