I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize