im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
