i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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