I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can't turn off my feet"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
