i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
