Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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